Looks like we're not on fire.
Based on what you hear in the world, it’s a wonder that we are all not on fire. I mean that literally and figuratively. There’s enough in your phone to make you think if you or someone breathes wrong everything is going to hell and we’re screwed, that we’re not safe. But, somehow through all the stuff that goes on, with each day we get, we move forward somewhere in the chasm of chaos and peace. I’m not a spring chicken, and with each new day I witness another day we are not on fire.
What I want you to understand is that each day is a new opportunity. When you wake up, you have a day ahead of you, and it can or will be full of whatever you put into it. Sure, you can’t change bad drivers, but you can change how you want to deal with it.
As with most my blogs, I’ll focus on the “divorce” angle, because that’s the type of law I practice. But this logic applies everywhere.
I do not know what stage you are in with your life. If you are in divorce or planning to divorce, I want you to do your best to remember that the core of whoever you married very likely is still there. You may want to explode in thinking that they are this whole other scary being, but generally that’s not the case. Think about it this way…most people want the same things: food, water, shelter and safety. Everyone wants safety. You and your spouse may disagree about how to spend or save money, how to raise children, or if you put the toilet paper roll on to unravel from the top side or from the bottom, but remember that you and your spouse have the same basic goals in mind, even if you will be in two separate homes going forward.
It does happen with a rare group of individuals that they do want to light everything up in flames. They do want chaos and they don’t care if they go down with the ship. Don’t let that group ruin it for you. If your spouse has no history of creating massive chaos, then chances are that won’t happen going forward.
Please learn to stay calm. Please learn to take care of yourself. If you get anxious, you lose your cool and lose the ability to rationalize the information needed to get the divorce process done. If you find you cannot keep focus, get help. All those emotions, while legitimate, may take you off your game which you definitely don’t want to do. If you find your anxieties are getting provoked by friends or your lawyer, then think about how rational those anxieties are. Inciting or perpetuating fear is normal for humans, but be careful to not let it get too irrational, or whack, as a person close to me likes to say.
It’s a comfort to me that for the last decades, with each day I wake up, and through the real bs I’ve witnessed, been around, and been through, that I am alive and not on fire. I can breathe and so can you. Let’s put our fears and anxieties to the side, get focused, and get to work.