Cheers or Jeers? Santa's elves are watching!
You’re supposed to be so happy during the holidays. Remember you’re supposed to be grateful, thankful, blessed, appreciative, all those great things. But, you’re in divorce and you are struggling financially, with the kids, litigation, your lawyer keeps giving you work to do, you keep paying their bill, you have to work on top of it, you don’t have work, and the list goes on. So much pressure. How much longer can you fund your divorce while your ex and their attorney act like complete jerks? It feels like it will never end.
You really start to seethe, especially at those that you feel burned by, and at the same time you let down your guard and crash upon those you love, trust, are closest to you.
Breathe. You’ll get through. I want you to breathe because your kids are watching you in action. They need your cheers not jeers! What do you want those little elves to see? Daddy complaining that mommy has taken his money, or mommy crying because daddy left her? I can say it gender neutral or vice versa, take your pick. Do you spew out your hurt so the world can see or do you save it for that one safe person to hear all your horror you feel and are experiencing? Please, don’t spew on your kids. Those elves interpret it in ways that will cost you for life that you cannot even begin to appreciate or understand.
Those little elves need their Santa to show confidence, love, and that you got it together or will figure it out. Kids take those jeers from childhood into adulthood, and it can manifest in negative ways and unintended consequences good hearted loving parents did not mean to do. Children learn not to trust, have anxiety, ditch their family (even you, really), fear the unknown, lack confidence, all because of emotions that come out of their parents in their environments during their childhoods.
By the way, positivity truly starts to take over even in litigation. I’ve seen it work wonders. And guess what: us lawyers make less money when you build yourself up. Seriously. Discipline yourself to build on what you’ve got and see where those steps take you. I dare you to try and keep the cheer!